Wednesday, November 30, 2011
While researching various views on anger and struggles with it, I came across a very interesting conversation about the “warrior gene.” For all the excuses we make for getting and being angry, this one really takes the cake. Apparently some people are born with a gene that “fires” them up and they “can’t live without” lots of anger. They even have “every right” to be angry because it is genetic.
And I thought I had excuses! I never even considered that one. The night I “blew off” my anger that was not at all on my list of excuses: my Mom did… my Dad did… my brother did… the stupid did… the uncaring masses did… the world did. But never did I think to blame my skinny genes. By the way, how do you sit down in those unbending, iron clad armor style skinny jeans anyway? But I digress.
Eventually the Gene expert and the psychologist finally came down to an agreement that even though the people they were interviewing had this horrible gene they didn’t have to give in to it. They could choose to avoid the issues that kept them angry. Meanwhile they agreed that the true issue at hand was one of twisted expectations. Personally, I could have told them that before they ever went looking for that ridiculous gene. The world’s failure to meet our expectations is the number one trigger for anger in every case. But let’s look at a classic example that was given during the show:
This gentleman’s issue was super classic, over blown “road rage.” (Another had “sidewalk rage” issues, but that is just too much, even for me.) Whenever he set out to drive somewhere he determined exactly how the drive would go by mapping it in his head. He left no room for adjusting to what was actually going to happen once he was on the road. He was prepared to “stomp out” any other drivers who “got in his way.” He was choosing anger even before he got in his car. It is his road. He owns it and NO one better get in his way.
He told how one woman “cut him off” and “made him angry.” And so, his need to “set the record straight and force others to learn to stay out of his way” kicked in. He chased her down and pushed her to the side of the road. He pulled off as well and ran back to tell her exactly what she did wrong and why she should never to it again. Meanwhile, she was calling 911. Smart lady. He was arrested and put in jail. But he still thinks he was right to do that because “If I don’t tell them what they are doing wrong they will never learn not to do it.”
I admit that I, the queen of anger, was shocked at how far these people would take their vengeful anger in order to correct and instruct the rest of us on how stupidly we behave. To me, “Be ye angry and sin not,” has a lot to do with premeditated anger and vengeful, “set the record straight” thinking. May God bless us with peaceful response to upsetting situations that we might allow the Holy Spirit to do His work of growing His gifts within us: Love, Joy, Peace, Kindness, Goodness, Patience, Gentleness and Self-control. Against such there is no law.