Many of
the women who surround me are quite good at pampering themselves from time to
time. The closest I come is actually getting a hair cut every three months and
soaking my feet for doing my own pedicure. I have never been one to spend a lot
of time on myself. That has been quite handy in times when I did not have time to
spend on myself.
But now,
I am getting older and I am considering being a little nicer to me. One of the
first things I have decided is that I will invite someone to lunch more often.
This is not only generous to them, it is generous to me: I love sitting with a
friend and enjoying each other over a meal. It is totally refreshing. But I
have been lax about that because I have to watch my budget. I don’t need to go
to lunch more often. So maybe I should drop that idea. But wait. Lunch is way
more fun for me than going clothes shopping and buying nothing, or going for a
mani/pedi or a massage. Those things are not exciting to me.
Recently
I went with a friend to IKEA and I seriously enjoyed myself because I have
always been fascinated with design and furniture. I even worked at it for
awhile. This trip was pure pleasure and I enjoyed every minute. But I do not
easily allow myself to do things just for the pure pleasure of it. I seem to
need a reasonable reason for doing anything.
Now I
have been presented with an opportunity to gain something I have desired for a
very long time: I have desired it and put it off as just that, a desire rather
than a need; but my body is telling me that I just might need this item for now
and for the future.
The
conundrum: It is a steal but I must buy it this weekend and I do not have cash
to purchase it with. I do have a small limit credit card. Should I use it? Should
I not use it? Strike while the iron is hot? Or let thing get cold?
My
natural response, as with 99% of any purchasing I do outside of groceries, is
to let it get cold and risk losing this opportunity. However this op came just
when I am learning again to be generous, and I need to learn to let God be
generous with me, even if it means I will have to pay for it next month instead
of this month. That is only a week away.
What to do? What to do?
Well, I
have decided to be generous with myself and grab this offer while it is
available, not just to please myself but also to please the one who made the
offer for me to get this. Actually, she has been very generous to offer to help
me get this and I think it is time to let her be so. Sometimes being generous
to ourselves can be a way of being generous for someone else's sake as well. I
do think that God has said to “go for it’ and I am doing that. I am accepting
her offer.
Frankly,
this is a bit of a bold move for me. I don’t even have kids, but I always put
my “self” needs last on my list of things to do. I am looking forward to
tomorrow when we will go and purchase this item. It will be a great day. I am
excited.
But a
clarification of that “self” needs thing: when it comes to food and to sleep I
pretty much hoard all that I can. That is where I must do some hard work in
becoming more generous. I pray that I will break through to a new way of
thinking about these things in this new year.
But I
also need to work on being more generous to myself. I am, after all, God’s
Beloved. He wants to pamper me with great things and I should let Him, even if
it is just going shopping with a friend and enjoying the day.*
*Note to
friends: NOT clothes shopping. NOT! Don’t even think about it! Arrrgh!
May we
learn to take as much delight in who we are as God does; and may we learn to
enjoy experiencing life on this earth as much as we can until we reach a better
place: our real home in eternity. God give us joy in who we are and who you see
when you look at us. Bless us with your Love and Joy as we travel here on
earth. In Jesus Name, Amen.